Saying YES to Life's Cosmic Comedy: A Journey from Menopause to Ministry

True stories based on things I have never aspired to, yet here I am.

Recently, in the midst of pondering the twisted plots that have intersected on the winding paths of my life, I couldn't help but marvel at how the most unexpected turns often lead to the greatest adventures. As I delve deeper into my memories, I realize that the journey has been filled with more twists and turns than I could count—some noticed, some ignored, some walked, and others already forgotten, a phenomenon that seems to occur more frequently in the throes of menopause.

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Ah, menopause, what a whimsically fitting term; I feel, however, that perhaps its original spelling was meant to be min-o-pause. Like, just give me a minute to think about why I got up, or a minute to think of your name, or find my keys. Perhaps I could have a minute or two while this fiery inferno overtakes my body and I shed layers of clothing. Or a minute to pause and contemplate the best method for putting on my socks because an alien has invaded my body, done shape-shifting, and created a horrifying bulge in my stomach, which now blocks direct access to my foot. However, back to what I came to share, lest we be digressed and derailed by yet another min-o-pausal moment. Just know, If I were ever abducted by aliens, a scenario I consider entirely plausible, I've already decided that the first extraterrestrial I meet will be named "Menopause." After all, what better name for an alien invasion of one's body?

But let's return to the present, to the other recent twists in my life's plot. It all began with a dream—a dream in which a voice, clear as day, instructed me to write a book about my neighbors and neighborhood, a place I find utterly enchanting. Now, enchanted though I may be by my neighbors and surroundings, the thought of writing a book was as foreign to me as celestial navigation is to a blind man. So, as one does when woken from slumber by an otherworldly directive at 3:00 AM, I addressed the voice in my head with a mixture of bewilderment and exasperation. "Really? You couldn't have woken up Professor Patty next door? I’m sure she is a literary genius! I’m the one you wake up with great balls of fire.” But no, the cosmic alarm clock persisted, insisting that it was indeed me it sought. Another misguided alien spaceship landing, perhaps? I lay there, contemplating if I should give up wine—or at least Scotch—wondering if it is time for the family intervention, they keep warning me about.

In my career, I've had the privilege of working alongside some grammar enthusiasts. I used to call them grammar Nazis, but I’ve been “woken” and advised this is in poor taste and perhaps politically insensitive. Well, these two ladies who we will call Joan and Allison, for the purpose of this story, can sniff out a misplaced comma from a mile away. Perhaps grammar enthusiasts is too mild a term.They are more like grammar ninjas – stealthily correcting syntax and punctuation with the precision of a surgeon. And so, I wisely accepted their assistance in polishing my letters and emails before sending them out to the world. Let’s face it, they made me look good.

Now, here I am in 2024, a published author of children's books, with the second book currently in the hands of an illustrator and a few more waiting in the wings. As intelligent as Joan and Allison are, it humors me to think of them pondering how this unexpected chain of events could have possibly occurred. Like solving a puzzle, with a few missing pieces. Mornings now find me in writing sessions; what was once a damned chore is now a creative outlet. Dividing my writing time between four different manuscripts: one for inspired writing, one for writing exercises, one for my books or blogs, and another for daily gratitudes. Thinking back, my daily writing began with a habit sparked by my life coach, whose books extoll the virtues of daily gratitude and inspired me to pick up the pen and write for enjoyment.

But writing in a gratitude journal is a far cry from creating a book for public consumption. There are no rules in the world of gratitude—no worries about proper English, correct spelling, or sentence structure. Yet, in the realm of publishing a book, all of these things matter. But Joan and Allison can rest assured knowing I find myself once again employing the services of an editor, forgoing the temptation to show my true colors of grammatical chaos upon unsuspecting readers. As a lifelong student of personal and professional development, a life and business coach, and an EFT practitioner, I have undergone many personality assessments to identify my strengths and weaknesses. I have even identified myself as “me, myself, and I”. The bottom line is not one of these career or personality assessments ever guided me to pursue a writing career, but here I am.

Two weeks before the grand announcement of my foray into children's literature came another comical twist. Picture this: I'm one hour away from the conclusion of a splendid 90th birthday celebration, a feat six months in the making, and I'm already counting down the minutes until I can kick back with a well-deserved glass of wine—or two. "Just one hour," I declare to the universe, "and I'm reclaiming my personal freedom. No more grand event planning for me!" Little did I know, the universe had other plans, ones that would put my newfound freedom to the test.

As I surveyed the room, basking in the glow of a celebration well-executed, a hand waved me over. Oblivious to the impending bombshell, I approached my handsome nephew and his beautiful fiancée, wishing I had a class of liquid confidence in hand—okay, maybe I do have a slight problem. "Hey Aunt Mare," they began, their faces wearing expressions of earnestness and excitement. And then it happened, the moment that would forever redefine my concept of personal freedom. "Would you officiate our wedding?" they asked, their words hanging in the air like a punchline waiting to land. In that instant, I found myself at a loss for words, silently questioning whether this was some cosmic prank orchestrated by a mischievous deity. Fortunately, by not having a glass of liquid courage in hand, I was able to manage not to spray wine out of my nose, though the thought crossed my mind. Why, oh why, would the universe think this was funny? But as my nephew and his fiancée looked on, eagerly awaiting my response, I realized that perhaps this wasn't the time for existential pondering.

Twenty minutes later, now fortified by a generous pour of Scotch, I acquiesced, humbled and honored, yet utterly incredulous at the absurdity of it all. And so, here I am—an ordained minister with one wedding under my belt along with a few more scotches.

From retiring after a 38-year career in title insurance to weathering the loss of my father, from orchestrating birthday celebrations to publishing children's books to officiating a wedding and preaching a sermon. The last eight months, which had been an intended sabbatical, have been a whirlwind of unexpected twists and turns. But amidst the chaos and the laughter, amidst the wine and the Scotch, I've learned one invaluable lesson: sometimes, you just have to say yes to life, embrace the absurdity, take a shot of courage, liquid or spiritual, and let the chips fall where they may.

My mantra in 2023 became, “things I have never aspired to but here I am”.

For 2024, I am adopting the phrase “live, laugh, laugh really hard, crossing your legs very tight to avoid another menopausal mishap, and keep your big mouth shut”.

The universe hears everything and has a twisted sense of humor. As for me, I'm MaryBeth, embracing my quirks and follies with open arms. Sailing through life's choppy waters with laughter, a glass of wine, and a healthy dose of divine disbelief—from the downright irreverent to the unexpectedly reverent!

So, cheers to the unpredictable journey ahead, where every twist and turn is met with a yes, a smile, shared laughter, a clink of the glass and a story waiting to unfold with each step.

Now, I invite you to share your own tales of unexpected adventures and comedic twists. Let's keep the laughter flowing and the stories rolling—because life's greatest adventures are the ones we never saw coming! Join the fun and drop your stories in the comments below. Let's keep the cosmic comedy alive!